Christa Dawn Burchett

 As I have struggle with who I am now, it hit me I now know what is wrong with me! I now realize the me that once was is gone. Before Christa got killed in her LODD, when I was around family, friends, and other good spirits I could feel inside me a connection to other around me, it was a love, warm, comfortable, a feel right feeling inside me, it came from within to reach out to connect to as many good spirits it could, I needed to have this to survive. Now I have a space that holds a void, empty, dark, totally alone feeling inside, like the love can't come in or go out. I can see this space it is as if it is a color or an object. The space that held the good spirits before is now full of void and emptiness it no longer connect to others. I now have to make myself put on the smile and try my best to show them what they mean to me, how much I need them! I hope the bad unwanted void can't be seen by the ones I love and if it does that they will understand that I do love and need them more than life it self. The void that takes up this space inside me no longer want, needs or desire to connect. Is the new me the one that will live on and the old me be gone forever? Is this a break through for me or it is me coming to gribs with who I am now?

To our brother/sister firefighters and to Christa's family. We started a small memorial here in south Georgia three years ago. We had a retired fire truck with every name of every firefighter from the state of Georgia on the truck. We also started a honor section on the truck to pay repects to some of our brothers and sisters from around the nation. Christa's story touched us and when our replacement truck arrives we plan to add Christa's name to the truck. We hope it will help a little to know t hat she is being remembered. We have a facebook page and a web site being put together and we are remembering her on both sites. We are so very sorry for your loss. It is never easy and never ever makes sense. If their is anything we can do just let us know.

Rick

 

I  spent September 2 at the grave yard to celebrate my baby girls 36th birthday...just like I do every birthday & hoilday... My daughter was killed 2 years 8 months ago in line of duty on her job. Now for me this is how ......I spend my time with my daughter! I will never hear her voice, hear her laughter, see her smile, look into her beautiful eyes, touch her cheek, wrap my arms around her to feel her against me!!!! I cant not tell you how this feels except that there is no pain that hurts your heart as deep, there is no loneliness nor longing that takes such a grip on your mind, body, heart or soul until you realize that this is the way your life will remain! I know longer want to wake up in the morning!!!! To me if you cant love your children un- conditonaly then you really dont know what love is...and there is no way you really can love anyone!!! Our children did not ask to be born just like you as a parent didnt ask to be born. So hold them close, feel thier skin, listen to thier voice, thier laughter, look into thier eyes and TELL THEM YOU LOVE AND NEED THEM MORE THAN THE NEXT BREATH YOU TAKE.... BECAUSE AS A MOTHER THAT NO LONGER HAS HER DAUGHTER HERE WITH HER NEEDS HER DAUGHTER MORE THAN MY NEXT BREATH!!!

                                         YOU ARE SO STRONG
It's something I hear all the time, but what makes me so strong? The fact that I LOST a child, no, that implies that I had a choice.I want to scream NO I AM NOT STRONG I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THIS ...I WANT IT TO BE THE WAY IT WAS... let it happen to someone else not my daughter. Nor do I think that I lost child because I'm " so strong" I CAN'T BELIEVE God would be that cruel.
I could come to the conclusion that I'm not strong at all, that it's something some people... say because they don't know what else to say.
That's probably more likely, but I CAN'T help but wonder, why would they say that? Am I strong because I survived the loss of a child?
Did I have another choice? No I have only two choices to wake up breathing or take my own life...Am I strong because I PUT ON A " happy face" and face the world everyday?Or because I don't let people see that I still cry until my eyes are dried out and wake up in a panic with disbelief.
Maybe I AM STRONG because I will tell you what I had in my life and how suddenly it was gone. I will make you hug your kids and cherish every moment because I am a reminder of how easily it can all be taken away. I had no choice and so I am strong....... I am strong I guess because people are afraid to see themselves in me, I am a living manifestation of their greatest fear.
I am strong because I did not choose drugs or alcohol to hide behind. Because, somehow, I managed to not get myself killed or die and found a way to reinvent myself. To try to move away in search of a pain free location that had no memories but only to find the same internal pain.
I chose to become the person you see today, the person that reminds you of the possibility of your worst fear, the same person who cherishes time with her living children and everyone she loves.
I am strong because I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING , I get dressed and I FACE the world one day at a time. Mainly I am strong because my beautiful daughter did lived, because with everything I lost, I have my memories to cherish, and my love that goes beyond the realm of death.
Because I have son and a Granddaughter who my Daughter left behind need me to be strong and my real friends who allow me to be weak. I am strong because I am loved.
I really missed my daughter this Mother's day!!

Written by Dottie a beavered mother( I add some of my own feeling )

Sissy it just came to me... I have been reaching out and seeking help from all that know you, hoping someone can say just one word to easy the pain... to make it as if it never happened! The answer is clear... no one can! I am in this for however long I am here on this earth alone.. the void can not be filled... the hurt is too deep... the heart can not heal... alone without anyone. I am sorry for the burden I have placed on all I know and all that loves you I ask forgiveness from all of you...it is mine to bare mine alone

Don't Tell Me
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my Daughter is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want her here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear her voice, see her face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don’t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact she is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
 I'll never be as I was before, 
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say her name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend, please realize that I can never be the same,

 

Christa Burchett.  January 22, 2010 was the second anniversary of Christa’s death.  I’m sure you are aware of the circumstances of her passing. To honor our “Fallen Hero”.

 

On 1/22/2010 a blood drive was held in Christa’s honor.  This was the third drive that was held in her honor.  The first one was held six months after her death, and the following two where held on January 22, of 2009 and 2010.  We plan on having blood drives each year as our way of ensuring that Christa’s death is not in vain.  During the blood drive we had 56 individuals sign up to give, with some giving Double Red.  In total we collected 65 units of blood.  Each unit of blood helps save 3 lives, that means Christa has made a difference to 195 people this year.  In total we have collected enough blood to help 300 individuals, in the past two years in Christa’s name. It is our goal to keep getting bigger each year, we would like to reach a goal of 106 units.  106 is Christa’s unit number.  In one of the photos, you see my daughter Shelby, and Christa’s mother, Melinda with 33 balloons.  The balloons were released on this date, in honor of the fact that we had Christa with us for 33 years.  

 

After the blood drive a memorial was held in her honor as well.  There were more than 80 people in attendance, with many of them being uniformed officers and EMTs.  It has meant a lot to Christa’s family to know that there are so many people who think about Christa and miss her as much as they do.  The memorial was concluded by a candle lighting ceremony and the release of the balloons.

I’ve Seen Her

 I’ve seen my baby girl; I’ve seen her pass,

She walks with such a grace.

She turned and smiled across at me,

The sun upon her face.

 

And I could swear I caught the scent,

The fragrance of her hair.

Could I believe – should I believe,

Her spirit blessed me there?

 

Her eyes so bright, they shone with love,

No pain to cloud them now,

And when she laughed, no line was seen,

Across that perfect brow.

 

Oh baby girl, if you would only wait,

Beyond the tears and pain,

We’ll walk together, hand in hand,

In love,

In peace,

Again.

Light a Candle

 

Light a candle for those we mourn.

Into a new life they will be born.

Do not look for them at the gravesite.

They are somewhere else radiating their beautiful light.

They have gone to a new world where there is no darkness, no pain.

Their light and essence will always remain.

Light a candle for those who have left this mortal place.

They are free to travel through time and space.

When we think of them, they are near.

When we sit in a beautiful garden. Their voices we hear.

When we listen to a divine symphony,

We close our eyes, their faces we see.

Light a candle for they have not really gone.

With each flickering flame, in your hearts they will always belong.

To My Baby Girl Olivia:

Some things I'd like to say but first of all to let you know that I arrived okay I'm writing this from Heaven where I dwell with God above where there's no more tears or sadness there is just eternal love Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night That day I had to leave you when my life on Earth was through God picked me up and hugged me and He said I welcome you It's good to have you back again you were missed while you were gone as for your dearest family they'll be here later on I need you here so badly as part of My big plan there's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man Then God gave me a list of things He wished for me to do and foremost on that list of mine is to watch and care for you And I will be beside you every day and week and year and when you're sad I'm standing there to wipe away the tear And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night When you think of my life on Earth and all those loving years because you're only human they are bound to bring you tears But do not be afraid to cry it does relieve the pain remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned but if I were to tell you you wouldn't understand But one thing is for certain though my life on Earth is o're I am closer to you now than I ever was before And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best I'm still not far away from you I'm just beyond the crest There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb but together we can do it taking one day at a time It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too that as you give unto the World so the World will give to you If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go When you are walking down the street and you've got me on your mind I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face that's me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace And when it's time for you to go from that body to be free remember you're not going you are coming here to me And I will always love you from that land way up above Will be in touch again soon

P.S. God sends His Love

--Author Unknown

You were a precious gift from God above,
so much beauty, grace and love.
You touched our hearts in so many ways,
your smile so bright even on the bad days.
You heard God's whisper calling you home,
you didn't want to go and leave us alone.
You loved us so much, you held on tight,
till all the stregnth was gone and you could no longer fight.
He had called your name twice before,
you knew you couldn't make him wait anymore.
So you gave your hand to God and slowly drifted away,
knowing that with our love we will be together again some day.